Paula, in 1950 Miami Springs, Florida, surrounded by the tools of womanhood in that historical era.

I am thankful for the women before me who worked to secure my right to make motherhood a choice! Compulsory motherhood is central to male control of women, that is, patriarchy. Access to birth control gave me the chance to explore my heterosexual self. Six years later, at 28, I was actively involved in the women’s liberation movement. I fell in love with women. I found these women exciting, funny, articulate, determined, talented, and sexy. Lesbians became my people. Only because other determined, strong women proceeded me, was I able to make this choice. I am thankful for their courage to stand together against all the institutions of patriarchy, including church, state, science and educational institutions.

My mother, Marie Donovan Neilson, did not have these choices. Marie was a “war bride” in 1944. My father William Paul Neilson, was shipped to the Phillipines as part of the force preparing to invade Japan. He left knowing my mother was pregant with me. After his safe return in 1946, two more babies arrived in quick succession. After her third child in five years, mother asked her doctor to “tie my tubes”. His condescending reply was, “Now, Marie, you know I cannot do that. You’re a young woman still.” Her body, her life, her marriage, all suffered form this man’s callous disregard for her wishes to limit her exposure to motherhood.

My mother, Marie Donovan Neilson, wearing her new dress and smiling at my dad, Paul, on Christmas morning 1958, Miami Springs, Florida.

Our family on a Florida vacation trip in 1958, Paula, Karl and mother in the back, with Marsha and Lea (the youngest) in front. Photo by dad.

Yes, there were two more pregnancies—one resulted in a miscarriage and one was a perfect towhead girl. Four children to love, nurture and care for—she gave us all her love. I am thankful to this woman who loved and nurtured me. She gave me strength and courage. I wish she had not died at 62. I have so much I’d like to say to her….

I am thankful for all the other women today who dare to defy the commands of patriarchy! Compulsory motherhood is the goal of every effort to limit access to birth control, family planning services, and abortion. Creating and nurturing a new life within one’s own body needs to be a chosen experience. Carrying a child full term is more dangerous to a woman’s health than having an abortion in the first trimester. Every preganant woman risks loosing her life. Or she may experience long-term health problems resulting from pregnancy. These risks should be taken by her own choice!

Women who dare to question compulsory motherhood deserve my praise. Women who dare to question compulsory motherhood will be ridiculed and condemned by many people as selfish and unwomanly. Patriarchy is the root of overpopulation and climate change–domination is the central tenant of patriarchy! Without this supreme value neither overpopulation or climate change would be our issues today. Ecofeminism makes this connection! I mentioned by mother’s personal experience because it is one vivid example of how overpopulation is linked to patriarchy! I mentioned my choice to be a lesbian because it, too, links to a solution to overpopulation–a lesbian’s feritlity is totally controlled by herself (unless she is raped.)

I am proud of every woman who questions the “breeder role” assigned her by the patriarchy. Every woman is indoctrinated with the cult of motherhood from birth to our death. Women labeled “childless” have failed in the basic expectiation of woman in patriarchy. When we women question all this, we resist patriarchy.

When we women question the patriarchs, the power of resistance is both personal and political! Demanding the right to think, talk, write and explore questions about mothering is an act of resistence I support and promote. We “childless” women made our complicated choice for complicated reasons. We women, mother and nurture on many planes. We add our creativity to the universe and nuture in many ways whether or not we have been mothers to a human child. I am thankful for the creativity of women because it keeps me alive and thriving.